Monday, June 4, 2012

Why I Don't Give A Fuck About E3

Well, it's that time of year again: time for the Electronic Entertainment Expo, or, as it's more commonly referred to, "E3".  In past years, I honestly would have been very excited to hear the news from E3.  It was both entertaining and informative, and I genuinely enjoyed watching the live webcasts of the various companies' conferences as they display the major project's they are working on.

But this year is different.  Last year, I watched the Microsoft press conference from E3 while it was being webcast, and as I watched, I couldn't help thinking how much ridiculous crap Microsoft was pushing.  Seriously, not a single thing they showed did not mention Kinect compatibility, and the grand majority of it was casual gamer garbage.

Now, let me be clear here: I don't think casual games are a bad thing, nor do I think they shouldn't be made.  Casual gamers deserve to be catered to as much as anybody, and it is definitely a market worth expanding.  However, there is a reason the average casual game is lower priced than games that require a little more dedication to play: casual gamers are an extremely unreliable section of the market.  It is in the name: "casual", a word that literally means "without definite or serious intention" (thank you, dictionary.com, for that).  Casual gamers play games in their free time, usually when they are bored, but if you crank up the price to the usual 60-70$ most mainstream games go for, most of them aren't going to give a crap for your game any more.  If they do, it's usually only because it's a game that can be played with friends, such as Mario Party or Super Smash Bros.

But the reason I don't give a fuck about E3 this year is not limited to the emphasis on casual games.  In fact, I don't even have a big problem with the casual games, I just think it's a poor business strategy.  The real problem in my opinion is the fact that literally everything in the press conference used Kinect in some form or fashion.  You know, Kinect: that thing that tracks your movement and your voice and takes pictures of you and isn't used for anything except the most gimmicky of gameplay and still, for some reason, costs a hundred bucks.

Now, is Kinect bad?  Not at all.  I haven't used it much myself, but by all accounts it is a perfectly fine peripheral for the Xbox 360.  I even see the fun that can be had with it, though I honestly don't see myself ever being interested in it enough to want to fork over a C-note for it.  But does it really need to be used in everything?  I mean, it basically amounts to a glorified controller for the console.  Some of the things it can do, like allowing voice commands in games or the ability to direct menus with your hands, are pretty nifty, but no one will give a shit if your game still sucks!

It has become a meme in the gaming community, in fact.  Microsoft had such a hard-on for the Kinect that its slogan, "It's better with Kinect!" has become shorthand for "Hey, you know what would make this game suck a whole lot less?  A bunch of gimmicky crap no one wants!"  It's the joke that, in a few years, will be more memorable than the device it was conceived to mock.

Mass Effect 3 was "better with Kinect", but does that make it so that the fans of the series feel any less cheated by the ending?  And how about that Star Wars Kinect title that got so many "rave" reviews for its nonsensical dance routines and musical numbers?

But you know what the real problem is?  It's not for the gamers.  These press conferences are designed not to sell games but to sell the company.  They're out there putting on these shows to convince their shareholders, most of whom don't know jack shit about gaming or the game industry, that they're going to expand their customer base.  They're out to make things sound like they're more interesting to the average consumer instead of the dedicated market that already exists, and because of that they've decided to sell to the shareholders instead of to gamers.

The irony of this is that it's going to have the exact opposite effect from what they want out of it in the long run.  In a few years' time, the industry will be in a massive slump similar to the infamous E.T. Depression from the 1980's because these large developers and publishers are alienating the market they've worked so hard over the past three decades to build in favor of a broader appeal.  That "broader appeal", in the end, will be just as unreliable as it sounds.  Casual gamers won't care enough to go for microtransactions and buy more useless junk to make their progress in the game go a little quicker.  Casual gamers won't have the time or interest.  Casual gamers will play for a little while, get bored, and move on to do something else.  Meanwhile, all the hardcore gamers out there will have stopped caring about what you have to sell and will have moved on in their own ways.

But don't worry about that, because apathy is better with Kinect!

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